Back when Jim Harbaugh was a hyperactive young pup playing quarterback for the Indianapolis Colts, he was known as Captain Comeback. Now, as a slightly less caffeinated OG coaching the Chargers, the ever-feisty Harbaugh is trying a comeback of a very different sort.
We’re not talking about Harbaugh’s second stint in the NFL, either. Harbaugh is way past his Colin Kaepernick chaos days—now he’s trying to rewrite his Michigan history as a Wolverine coach and clean up his record in the process. It’s an audacious tactic that only a Harbaugh would try, and Jim always has been a lot crazier than John, which is why John has a ring and Jim is still hunting his first.
Never Lie, Never Cheat, Never Steal
Seriously??
You gotta admit, Harbaugh talks a good game. Only a premier college coach could use a hogwash line like that after getting convicted of sign stealing by the NCAA, which never really wanted to investigate him in the first place. It’s pure mom, pop, and apple pie, and heaven only knows what his parents really think when they hear them spewing this kind of nonsense.
Harbaugh did get bounced from college sports for his petty crimes, and he took his alleged criminal henchman with him. How perfect is it that Chargers DB coach Steve Clinksdale, who supposedly helped a recruit get verified on Instagram by writing a check for a hundred bucks for a charity golf event run by the recruit’s dad, has the word “clink” embedded in his surname identity?
Former DC Jesse Minter and linebackers coach Chris Partridge are the other two alleged cohorts, accused by the NCAA of the horrid crime of—wait for it—gasp!—texting! It’s a Mickey Mouse crime caper of the highest order, but now that he’s made his point, Harbaugh is willing to go “back to work and attacking with an enthusiasm unknown to mankind.”
Seriously.
Deny, Attack. . . Apologize?
It’s a familiar spin on a well-known playbook, even though most of us are only interested in the playbook Harbaugh comes up with to get Justin Herbert over the top and all the way into the Super Bowl. Harbaugh did back down a little when he took to the bully pulpit, though, saying “No one is perfect. If you stumble, you apologize and you make it right.”
So who might that guy be who stumbled, anyway? Think it’s anyone we know?
The media lapdogs lapped it up, though. Some of them remember Harbaugh’s other wacky nicknames—Coach Crazy, Coach Khaki, and Iron Jim. He’s always been a “never back down” kind of guy, even when he’s up against facts from the past that have to be altered to set the record straight.
Where do we go from here with Jim Harbaugh, then? That one’s easy. Harbaugh’s always been about football, and when the Seahawks come to LA on Saturday to play their part in Coach Harbaugh 3.0, Jim Harbaugh knows that his words will be largely forgotten the moment that first wacky kickoff touches down in the landing zone. (Note to self: Gotta work some on this new kickoff lingo, doesn’t have the same ring the old cliches did.)
Harbaugh’s real concerns start on opening day, of course, when the Raiders come to town for real. Will Harbaugh use Team Canada spy drones to steal the Raider's signals and keep Herbert one step ahead of the game? Maybe come up with a new spin on the old Tuck Rule to haunt Vegas? Or maybe he’ll come up with a kickoff concept no one’s thought of yet, just to prove he’s still a brilliant coach who can outsmart everyone in the room.
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