Two completely contradictory things can be true at once…
Bill Belichick badly wants to get into coaching.
Bill Belichick is building his own media empire.
Interesting syllogism, no? If you follow the bouncing rumors, though, it makes total sense. Belichick is looking to land a job in the NFC East, based on all the speculation, and the Cowboys, Eagles, and Giants are all “competing” to see who screws up worst to get the legendary former Pats and Browns coach. Let’s go on a scavenger hunt and complete the syllogism!
The Dallas Dynamic
It sounds strange to think of Belichick coexisting with publicity-hound owner Jerry Jones as the coach of the Cowboys, but not if you take a deeper dive into the coaching dynamic here.
Start with the fact that Belichick is alleged to have an excellent relationship with Jones’ son, Stephen, and it’s easy to see Bill and Stephen mostly running the football show, with Jerry hunting fame, fortune, and future paternity suits while putting his showmanship imprimatur on the important football decisions.
Then there’s Mike McCarthy. He’s coaching with no contract net, and he knows it. A series of stumbles would provoke the obvious move, which would be to bring the Hoodie to Big D.
There’s one last factor to consider here. Jerry Jones has been booting on big contract extensions for a while now. Dak Prescott, CeeDee Lamb, and Micah Parsons are all waiting in line for their individual Brinks trucks to back up, but Jerry keeps putting them off. And if he boots on Dak and/or CeeDee, who better to get to the playoffs with than a coach who prioritizes defense, uses Parsons as the ultimate chess piece, and manages to squeeze 10 wins out of Cooper Rush and (gulp) Trey Lance?
Coming to a Sideline Near You: The Philly Phlop?
The Eagles may have been a playoff team that was undefeated for the first half of the season, but the more we learn about the dynamic between Nick Sirianni and Jaylen Hurts, the more we hurtle toward the inevitable conclusion:
Things are bad. Like, explosively bad.
Most of the storylines are familiar, but there are new layers being added every day. An ESPN hit piece—oops, exposé—detailed the latest on the Sirianni/Hurts relationship recently, and all indications are it’s anything but fixed.
Kellen Moore has been hired as the Mr. Fix It/Master Mediator/OC, but no one seems optimistic about this. It’s difficult to imagine Belichick tolerating the Philly boo birds and all the joy that comes with dealing with the Philadelphia media, but stranger things have happened. File it as an intriguing long shot that would be a delight if it came to fruition.
Of Giant(s) Disasters
Then there’s Brian Daboll. And Daniel Jones. And manager Joe Schoen, who apparently wants his next job to be with the WWE when the G-men’s season inevitably goes south. It’s been beyond embarrassing for one of the league’s most staid franchises, and there’s only one way to fix it.
Belichick is the perfect final chess piece here, no? He’s known the Maras for forever, and ownership has long loved him. The Hoodie gets to steal headlines from the crosstown Jets, so it’s the ultimate storybook ending.
The Also-Rans for Bill Belichick
There are other possibilities here, of course. Sudden nosedives are a fact of life in the NFL, where the finances are designed to produce 32 mediocre teams who all more or less end up at .500.
Some of these possibilities are downright whimsical: the Cardinals could decide Bill Belichick is a perfect fit with Kyler Murray because of their penchant for a military approach to the game. Hey, Murray is the ultimate (video) gamer, right?
The Bears could decide the Hoodie is the perfect guy to develop Caleb Williams. Bob Kraft could get hit by lightning and have a divine revelation if Jerod Mayo struggles, then decide that his former headman is the key to a return to the glory days.
Yeah, right. Let’s stick to the rumor trade winds. The Cowboys and Giants are the front runners for a Belichick return, with the Eagles as an intriguing longshot. It’s going to be a fascinating season, so feel free to tune in to Belichick Media Empire, Inc!